[POLLS HAVE NOW CLOSED! A big thank you to everyone who voted in this years Peacock Awards. We’ll be counting your votes as well as Mike, Lumberjake, and JC’s when we give you the results on-air for the 2018 Peackies later this month!]
It’s that time of year again! That’s right, it’s the Peacock Awards!
2018 was a banner year for Three Way Theater, reaching more listeners than ever before while losing just as many to even things out. From now until Saturday December 15th you have the ability to cast your vote in our 10 categories and help us determine THE BEST of 2018.
The winners will be announced on the 2018 Peacock Award Ceremony later this month, stay tuned!
The five nominees for the best movie we watched in 2018 are Paradise Alley starring Sylvester Stallone, Armand Assante, and TWT All-Star Terry Funk that framed the wrestling world in a post WWII New York City. Three Way Theater’s first ever wrestling sequel Scooby-Doo & WWE: Curse of the Speed Demon, the Mexican superhero saga Atomic Blue, Oscar Winner Ruth Gordon in Mugsy’s Girls, and the bugfuck crazy Japanese cult classic Oh! My Zombie Mermaid.
Best TV Show
This year’s TV output gave us a ton of variety kicking things off with our TGIF block of wrestling episodes featuring Family Matters, Step by Step, Boy Meets World, and Fuller House. The Netflix Original Series GLOW returned for a stellar second season while Dr. Samuel Beckett leaped into the body of a pro wrestling grappler on Quantum Leap. TWT All-Star Terry Funk appeared not only on Quantum Leap but also Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction before finally jumping into the world of SNICK wrestling episodes (Hey Dude, Rugrats, Ren & Stimpy, Looney Tunes, & Fred 2: Night of the Living Fred).
Best Best in Show
This year’s Best in Shows showcased a wide range of pro wrestling history, with the biggest possibly being the ‘finale’ of the WWF with WrestleMania X-7. There was also the summer showdown Summerlam 1992 headlined by Bret Hart vs. The British Bulldog (w/ an amazing Diana Hart Smith promo). Our WCW output this year saw us review Superbrawl 1991 featuring an angry outburst from Todd Harris about Danny Spivey, and Beach Blast 1993 that has one of the best vignettes of all-time. Rounding out the list is the infamous PPV Heroes of Wrestling, an episode we recorded at 2am with the lovely CPA.
In the world of professional wrestling there’s babyfaces and heels, but at Three Way Theater we only see sweeties and douchebags. Kid Salami, the younger brother of Sylvester Stallone’s Cosmo in Paradise Alley was an earnest and kind soul, while the house mother Mugsy drunkenly led her gals to victory in the slippery world of mud wrestling competitions. Azul Atomico, the (sort of?) superhero luchador of Atomic Blue did his best to save the day, but he wasn’t close to being as cool as Shinya Hashimoto in Oh! My Zombie Mermaid. There’s also the cartoon sweetie nominee Pretzel Maker Pickles, the very negligent grandfather on Rugrats.
Being the top douchebag in a pro wrestling movie/TV show is integral, because the hero is only as good as its villain. Possible Nazi Frankie the Thumper (Terry Funk) was the perfect foil for Kid Salami, while Steve Urkel drugged and wreaked mayhem on Carl’s old high school pal. Tom Grant, the sleazy executive on GLOW did his best to have his way with Ruth (Alison Brie), and Ichijo did his best to take down Hashimoto, though it’s debatable if hew as just trying to avenge his brother’s death. The Lout Brothers on Ren & Stimpy were mean & crude, but they knew when to do the right thing for their opponents in the ring.
M. Harry Smilac Award for Least Likable
In honor of the least likable jerk in TWT history M. Harry Smilac, we present the 2018 Least Likable Award. Is there a bigger jerk than Cosmo Carboni in Paradise Alley? The selfish and egotistical Cosmo would do anything to use his brother to advance his own fortune. Triple H and Stephanie have been accused of a lot of things as The Authority in WWE, but as the scheming cartoon foils for Scooby-Doo and Mystery Inc. they were the absolute worst of the worst. Roland Alexander was very transparent in his goals in Beyond the Mat, but does it hold a candle to the selfish nature of Debbie on GLOW? On all accounts Dan Spivey was a tremendous pro wrestler, but for a certain subsection of the audience (Todd Harris), he’s just not very likable.
Best Guest Host
The best part of Best in Show is the ability to bring a guest host onto the show and getting to riff with Mikey, Lumberjake, and JC. Buddy Christ brought a lot to the plate for ECW Guilty as Charged 2001 including the introduction of Gay Tazz to the world at large. Kevin Castro returned for WOW Unleashed and was just thankful to not be reviewing Insurrextion. Todd Harris got a taste of old school WCW with Superbrawl 1992, “RIOT” Kellan Thomas helped us relive the glory of WrestleMania X-7 while also ordering some late night Dominos, but it was CPA who pulled an all nighter to get through Heroes of Wrestling. Adam Salzer made his TWT debut with Summerslam 1992, doing a great Sean Mooney impression, and Ruy Batello made his triumphant return to Best in Show for the Royal Rumble 1996.
Who had the best bod this year on Three Way Theater? Missy Hyatt continues to be one of the best parts about early 90s WCW, but we can’t discount how crazy over and important Chyna was to the WWF in 2000/2001. Early 80s Ted DiBiase was all hunk in our humble opinion, but does how does he stack up against Shinya Hashimoto in Oh! My Zombie Mermaid? In the end can any of them best Betty Gilpin’s Debbie? She really stepped up to the plate in Season 2.
It’s always the most hotly contested category in the Peacock Awards, it’s the Best Song! Is it the crooning voice of Sylvester Stallone singing Too Close to Paradise? Is it the poppy Mugsy’s Girls tune? Perhaps the wonderful TGIF medley by Rockapella. There’s also the rocking Azul Atomico theme for Atomic Blue, and of course the classic TV theme for Hey Dude. Who do ya got?
WTF Moment of the Year
WTF Three Way Theater!
Things always get a little weird on TWT, but 2018 really brought the WTF for us.
Animal Abuse & Cruelty on the set of Paradise Alley
Monkeys and Three Way Theater go way back, but we’ve never quite seen the abuse this damn monkey was getting in Paradise Alley. We got some real Milo & Otis vibes while watching Sly throw this monkey around. WTF!!
Undertaker’s Puppet Jubilee
The Undertaker has always been one of the most mythical and serious wrestlers in WWE despite being an undead zombie MMA American Badass fighter. But nothing could prepare us for Scooby-Doo & WWE: Curse of the Speed Demon when Take introduced us to his Undertaker Puppet for his Puppet Jubilee. WTF!?
Oral Cupping in Oh! My Zombie Mermaid
When Shinya Hashimoto’s sister (???) showed up near the 3rd act of Oh! My Zombie Mermaid there’s no way we could have expected an erotic and extended oral cupping scene, with Sis sucking Hashimoto’s body all over to prepare him for his epic death match. WTF???????
Candace Cameron Bure does her own wrestling stunts in Fuller House
When DJ Tanner rushed the ring to save her son during the pro wrestling episode of Fuller House, we were dazzled by DJ’s in ring ability. Both Mikey and Jake were shocked to learn that Deej performed all her own stunts while breaking out her lucha moveset. WTF??
Mike Paiva is gross
Is it fact or fiction? When Mike Paiva announced during Beyond the Mat that he doesn’t wash his hands after pooping specifically, JC and Lumbie collectively lost their shit (figuratively). Mikey has since announced he was just playing along for the ‘bit’, except there was no bit in the first place. He wasn’t provoked. That sucka has poop hands. WTF?!?!?